Remembering Our Babies- Lucy Dair

Every baby is special, every life is important, and every Mom wants to show off her baby. For those of us who lose our babies too soon, we don’t ever get to show them off and we rarely get to say their names or tell people about them. I have discovered that most people feel very uncomfortable when I bring Lucy up, but I want to talk about her just like I want to talk about Liam and Asher. Imagine if you NEVER got to talk about your child, you never got to use his/her name. It’s so weird when someone asks how many children I have. I say I have two boys, but in my head I also say, “and I have a daughter too.” Every time I go out in public I feel proud to have my boys and to see the smile on people’s faces when they look at my kids, but I want to say, “Did you know I have a daughter too? Her name is Lucy and she had chubby cheeks and she was probably going to have the most beautiful, long, curly hair.”

In our country, thousands of babies are still born every year, roughly one every twenty minutes. There are even more miscarriages. Here on my blog, I want to remember all of the lost babies and give their parents an opportunity to show them off. These Mamas are so proud of their babies and are going to share them with us here. Since Lucy died on a Friday, I will share a new baby’s story every Friday. Even though I have shared about Lucy already, today I must start with her, the missing piece of my heart. I feel privileged to be able to honor Lucy and her friends. We honor these little lives by acknowledging their presence with us, even if it was a very short time. Do you know how these babies are loved? Do you know that each baby was cherished by their families, even if they left only after a few weeks? Do you know how these babies are missed every single day? I am honored to be able to share these babies with you. Please pray for these families, who have to live every day without their precious children.

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Today I want to show off my Lucy Dair. She is my third child, my first daughter, her Daddy’s girl. Lucy is Liam and Asher’s baby sister that they were so excited about meeting. She is Bella, Camille, Claire, Lily and Jack’s baby cousin. She has so many Aunties and Uncles that love her. Lucy is the eighth grandchild of Barry and Karen McGlothin and the first granddaughter of Kathy and Rick Weathersby. She was prayed for before she was born and was prayed for by hundreds of people while she was in my womb.

I first felt Lucy kick at 15 weeks, just like I did with her brothers. She kicked a lot and I think she was going to be very energetic like her big brothers. Lucy especially did not like it when I rocked Asher before bed every night because he sat right on top of her and she kicked every time to show that she did not appreciate it.

Lucy’s original due date was July 7th, but she was measuring so big that they moved her due date up to July 2nd. After she was born I couldn’t believe how much she looked like her Daddy. She had his mouth and his nose. She also looked a lot like Asher; she had his chubby cheeks. Her fingers were long like mine and her tiny fingernails were so perfect. She was beautiful and she weighed one pound, which is a lot for a 19 weeker.

I always liked the name Lucy Dair, but I just couldn’t imagine a woman named Lucy, for some reason. It seemed perfect for a little girl or a baby, but I just couldn’t picture my grown daughter with the name Lucy, so we looked for other names. We liked Charlotte, Nora, Elle, Rowan, but I always seemed to come back to Lucy. When we lost her I knew her name was Lucy, because she will always be a baby in my mind. I will never have a grown daughter named Lucy. Lucy means light and she went straight from her Mommy’s womb into the light of her Creator, who loves her perfectly. She will never know the darkness of this world. Her middle name, Dair, was my great-grandmother’s middle name. Bernice Dair Hall Fowler was an amazing woman who influenced my mother so much. She passed down a legacy of love to her daughter, Elwyn, who passed it down to my mother, Karen, who passed it down to me. I wanted Lucy to be the next link in that chain of love, but instead she is with her namesake in heaven, which is also beautiful in a different way.

Mothers share a special bond with their daughters, and I was so excited to have a daughter of my own. I imagined Lucy growing up and becoming my friend like I have become with my Mom. I was also so excited to have a girl so that I could finally exercise my right to NOT put a gigantic bow in her hair. Oh, and her hair! I think it would have been so beautiful. My boys have the most beautiful blonde hair and it kills me to cut it off. I couldn’t wait to grow Lucy’s hair out and braid it and put it in pigtails. I couldn’t wait to dress her up with all those sweet baby girl clothes that I’ve longingly gazed at on the other side of the baby section for years. I had some really cute outfits all ready for her. I couldn’t wait for flowers and hearts and My Little Ponies and pink little shoes. I couldn’t wait to teach her how to be a good Mommy herself one day. Lucy Dair, you will always be my first daughter and I will miss you until the day I die. You are loved and missed by so many people. I am so thankful I got carry you inside me for 19 weeks and I am so honored to be your Mommy.

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If you would like to share your baby’s story just e-mail me at bethanysk55@yahoo.com  You can share whatever you want about your baby, and you don’t have to include your name if you don’t want to. Also, I think your baby is just as important if you lost him/her at 6 weeks or at 40 weeks. Even if you never knew the sex of your baby, you might have had names picked out, a due date and lots of hopes and dreams for that child. All of that is important and is welcome here.

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