As I’m cooking breakfast, my four year old nonchalantly asks, “Hey Mom, when is God going to give us our baby sister back?”

My heart drops. “Oh buddy, baby Lucy isn’t ever coming back.”

His face falls.

“We can ask God to give us another baby sister if you want.”

“No Mommy, He ran out of babies to give us.” His eyes are so sad. I’m surprised because he is usually the one who reassures me that God is going to give us another baby.

“I promise He hasn’t run out of babies. Do you want me to ask Him right now to give us another baby?”

“No, I want you to ask God to let baby Lucy out of heaven so she can come back to us.”

I understand him completely. Our hearts ache for Lucy and another baby will not take her place. “God doesn’t let people come back from heaven. They don’t want to come out because it’s so cool in heaven. It’s so much better than where we are now.”

His face lifts with a little bit of hope.

I continue, “It’s so fun in heaven and safe and everyone is happy.”

“But are there monster trucks and race cars in heaven?”

So much hope and expectation on his little face. How do I explain to a four year old how much better heaven is than monster trucks and race cars? To him, monster trucks and race cars are the best thing he can imagine.

“I think they do have monster trucks and race cars in heaven.”

He sighs with contentment and says “Ok,” and we pray for God to give us a baby who won’t get sick in Mommy’s belly and who can stay with us here on earth. Please continue to pray for healing for all of us and that God will give us a baby that we can keep.