The other night we put up our Christmas tree. It wasn’t as sad as I thought it would be because the boys were so excited and their joy was contagious. I did have a breakdown when I saw this ornament, which should be Lucy’s this year (It says “Baby’s 1st Christmas” at the bottom.)
But instead I ordered this ornament for her and it looks so beautiful on the tree.
The next day, the boys and I painted ornaments for Lucy and her friends in heaven. They still don’t know about their other two siblings in heaven, so I just included them as two more of “Lucy’s friends.” 
Painting these ornaments for these babies made me so happy. Not much about Christmas this year has made me happy, but this did. The boys loved hearing all the names of Lucy’s friends, especially Liam. He understands much more than Asher and thinks heaven is a very cool place with cool people in it (and he’s right.) It seems to comfort him to know Lucy has friends to play with. He asked several times, “Mommy, tell me all the names again.” I love saying these babies’ names because they are not said enough. They should be said for a lifetime, but very few people hear their names spoken. They were spoken in my house on this day and it sounded beautiful to my ears.
We made ornaments for Simon, Milly Brandon, Lucy, Jude, Pax, Calvin, Luke, Rylan, Esther, Taidgh, Aubrey Rose and Ann Reese (both represented by the AR) and baby V. 
There were so many other babies I wanted to make ornaments for and I almost went back to Hobby Lobby to buy more ornaments to paint, but then I thought, “Where will it end?” I would have to buy several packs of ornaments if I wanted to make one for every baby that I know who has been lost. I don’t even know if they would all fit on my Christmas tree. That thought made me sad because how can so many babies die? How can so many parents and siblings go through this pain? So, this year I decided to only make as many ornaments that came in the pack I bought. As I worked on each ornament I prayed for the family who is missing their precious baby this Christmas. Every time I see these ornaments on the tree now I pray for these families. Liam was so excited about hanging all the ornaments on the tree and wouldn’t let anybody else do it.
And of course, he hung them all at the very bottom of the tree 🙂
Merry Christmas Simon, Lucy, Jude, Pax, Luke, Rylan, baby V., Aubrey Rose, Calvin, Milly Brandon, Ann Reese, Esther and Taidgh. I know your first Christmas in heaven is going to be so much more amazing than all of our Christmases on earth put together.
*Edited to add- I just realized that this is not Ann Reese’s first Christmas in heaven. She died last Christmas Eve, so technically this is her second Christmas in heaven, although it’s not any easier on her family I’m sure.
Losing Lucy and Finding Hope 
Am crying – thank you for including my baby boy on your tree, what a lovely idea xxxx
Of course! My little Asher loved saying Taidgh’s name the most. He was a little obsessed. He even told me he thinks there should be a “Taidgh the Train” which is the biggest compliment coming from him. He is obsessed with all the Thomas trains and knows every single train name. He walked around for about an hour talking about “Taidgh the Train”
What a beautiful way to honor our babies during a hard holiday season.
Bethany, this made me sob. My heart feels so happy that my Luke is a part of your Christmas tree along with your precious Lucy and their other friends. Thank you so much for your ever-present thoughtfulness. The blue of his ornament is the same as his nursery and I love it. I love that your boys talk about Luke and Lucy. I wish more people talked about them like you and your boys do. I have no doubt that you are a gift from God in my life and I am so thankful for you.
Oh, I’m glad you liked it! I had no idea that was the color of his nursery! That is cool. I also wish more people talked about our babies. I love when people say Lucy’s name (which is not that often.)
P.S. I love how Asher is sticking out his tongue while he works 🙂
This was a wonderful thing to do. You are wonderful.
These are good ways to remember. I think it is good to for us to remember what has been lost when remembering combines these elements:
–Sorrow over what went wrong, because we see all the damage that sin has done to our world. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.
–Hope for the day when every wrong will be righted and every loss redeemed for all of eternity. Jesus is our hope and we long for him. He’s the only one who makes your pain over into joy.
–Service to others. Your prayers for these other families that have lost so much are powerful, and you know that as you pray for them, they represent all those other families whose names you may not ever know.
I love your ornaments! I work in a ministry called Embrace and we are having our second annual ornament making Christmas party to make ornaments for babies lost from miscarriage, still born , or early infant loss. Can I ask what kind of paint or pen you used on the gold letters?
Thanks
Sara
What a great idea! I just used Sharpie markers called “Gold Metallic, Silver Metallic and Bronze Metallic.” I got them at Walmart and they worked great. Obviously, they stood out more on the lighter colored ornaments so in hindsight, I should have made all the ornaments a light color. Although, I did let my 2 & 4 year old mix some colors, so I’m blaming them for the less than perfect ones 🙂
Thank you and I would love it you let me know what you think of the info on our website if you have time. http://Www.embracefresno.com
There is another embrace team in Atlanta at http://www.embracefamilies.com
We are in California thanks so much.
I’m new to your blog. This is so beautiful. The community is incredibly blessed to have someone as thoughtful as you. Thinking of you and your little Lucy.
Just wanted to say THANK YOU (seems so little) to you and your sons for the beautiful ornaments ever! You are an amazing mom, it’s the best thoughtful giftWe are all missing RYLAN so much!! There are no words 😦 .MANY MANY thanks Rylan’s mom mom 🙂
I’m so sorry that you don’t have your baby Rylan with you this Christmas and all the Christmases to come. I know you are hurting so much. He is a special boy and he is not forgotten
Is there any way that we can connect through email? I have too much to say for a simple reply on your blog. I don’t know that we’ll ever be able to truly thank you for such a kind gesture. It goes beyond words. I hope that you and your beautiful family have a lovely holiday. Sincerely, Megan and Chris
Of course! My email is bethanysk55@yahoo.com and you can email me anytime. I’m so glad you liked the ornament! I wasn’t sure if people would be ok with me putting an ornament for their baby on my tree without me asking them. Thank you for sharing your Rylan with us!