We felt like God was calling us to adoption a few months ago, but being doubtful and fearful like I often am, I shied away from the idea. The main reason I was afraid of the idea is because of our financial situation at the moment. We are comfortable (we don’t mind a small home and old cars) and able to live below our means, but we don’t have a spare $21,000 to pay for an adoption. Josh is finishing grad school and I only work a few hours a day so I can stay home with my little guys. Anyway, God has been VERY clear about what He wants us to do, so we are doing it. It also happens to be what we want to do, so that is nice, and we know we can trust Him to provide.

Even with God’s clear direction for our family, I was terrified when we sent our first adoption forms in. I know it is not true, but I often feel like a failure because I can’t bring my babies into this world alive. I was afraid that I would fail at adoption too. I doubted and worried and asked God for yet more confirmation that this was what He wants us to do. Thank goodness He is so patient! He showed me in two ways. One night I had a very vivid dream. I was walking through the dark and I had just left my warm, cozy house. Josh was at home with the boys. The doors were safely locked behind me and the windows were glowing with light. I was walking away from the house feeling thankful that they were warm and safe. I had a newborn baby in my arms, wrapped in a blanket. I didn’t look at the baby, but I knew it was my baby and it wasn’t Lucy. I held the baby to my chest and felt very afraid and protective. I hurried along, away from the safe house and into the dark. I was walking through tall grass; the kind I used to walk through as a child in Africa. The grass was up past my waist. Suddenly, I heard a sound to the left. I looked out into the grass and saw movement. I was terrified, but more than that, I was ready to fight for my baby. My adrenaline surged. I was going to kill whatever was out there. I would do anything to keep my baby safe. But suddenly, a huge lion leapt out of the grass with a terrible growl, right at me. I clutched my baby and woke up feeling frantic. I had the idea that the baby in the dream was my future adopted baby. I still felt the adrenaline pumping and I knew I had to fight for my baby. I’m ready to fight.

The second way God showed us confirmation was through a different baby. A couple days after we announced that we would be adopting, a friend of mine contacted me about some relatives who were in a bad situation. I won’t go into too many details because it’s their story, not mine, but there was a little baby who needed help. He was neglected and his needs were not being met. His baby blanket was full of cigarette burns. One parent was an alcoholic, one was a drug addict. We told them we were available and would be happy to adopt the baby. I wanted to save that baby so much. It broke my heart that I couldn’t help him. We never heard back from the baby’s relatives, but God used that experience to stir up my heart for adoption. This is why we are adopting, and this is why some amazing birth parents decide not to parent. We do this so that babies don’t end up like this other sweet baby that we couldn’t help.

God knows there is a baby out there for us, and maybe that baby needs us now, not in a few years when we have all the money saved up. Maybe God gave me that dream to put a sense of urgency in me, to show me that I need to fight to protect my baby.

After Lucy died, so many people approached us and asked us, “What can I do to help? Is there ANYTHING I can do?” At the time, I couldn’t think of anything besides asking you to share my blog with others. Now, just in time for Lucy’s first birthday in heaven, I know what you can do. You can support us in our adoption so that out of Lucy’s death another baby will be given a life. We have started a GoFundMe account to accept donations for our adoption if you feel led to give. I actually created the account a month ago, but I’m just now working up the courage to put it out there (pride is a hard thing to let go of.) The total cost will be over $21,000. You can see the layout of our fees and when they are due here. Our goal is to raise $15,000 through the GoFundMe account and through other fundraisers later in the year. We think we can handle the rest with our savings. Please don’t feel pressured to give if you don’t want to. I know a lot of people feel weird about giving money directly as opposed to through a fundraiser. That is fine! We would love for you to pray for us and our future baby or to share our GoFundMe page on Facebook. You can see our prayer requests here. Even if you don’t do any of that, we want you to follow us here on our blog to see the amazing story that God unfolds. You don’t want to miss it!

As Lucy’s birthday gets closer and closer I have been remembering all of the kindness that people have shown us throughout this past year. We have been showered with love and generosity and support. I try to think about every single act of kindness shown to us since Lucy died and I cry every time I think about it. I cry with amazement because I can’t believe how many people have joined together to help our family get through this darkness. I feel so blessed, so special. I think about Baby Weathersby growing up one day and looking at all the names of the people who contributed to bringing her home and it makes me cry again. Our baby is going to feel so loved and so special when she sees the army of people who fought for her and gave of themselves so that she could have a beautiful life. If you would like to be one of those people, we would be THRILLED! Our donation page is  http://www.gofundme.com/WeathersbyBaby

We are so grateful for all of you, who support us with prayer, meals, sweet gifts, money and words of encouragement. You are some of the most beautiful blessings that have come out of our tragedy. Thank you, for everything, and thank you in advance from Baby Weathersby.

*A very important piece of information- Before you donate, we want you to be aware of the fact that we are still open to having a biological baby. We are not pregnant right now, but could be in the future (although it is unlikely.) We WILL complete this adoption whether we get pregnant and have a live baby, whether we get pregnant and lose another baby or whether we never conceive again. Our adoption agency knows of our situation and is willing to work with us on this. If we were to get pregnant the plan is to proceed with the adoption process until we find out if our baby has a chance at life, around 18 weeks. If we lose the baby, we will continue the adoption process. If the baby has a fighting chance, we will put the adoption on hold until our baby is born. Then, we will resume the adoption proceedings. You can feel confident that any and all money that you donate will go towards the Baby Weathersby Adoption Fund.