On Jude’s due date I got a package in the mail. Inside was the sweetest handmade baby dress and matching bonnet.
It was from Siobhan, another baby loss mom who I’ve never met in person. She lost her son Taidgh last year and is now pregnant with his little sister. Siobhan wrote in a card:
I finished making this last week- I was all excited, Blythe helped me choose the flower, I photographed it, and started to fold it to put in the dresser, when I knew that it wasn’t for me. This belongs to the little girl that God has chosen to be your daughter. There is a prayer for her on every stitch…
How amazing is she?! She had no idea that Jude’s due date was coming up and she had no idea that this sweet package of hope would arrive on that very day. Even more important- it arrived on the day that God gave me a promise, one year ago, to give me my heart’s desire and to not withhold the request of my lips. God used this beautiful little dress to remind me of that promise and to tell me that He hasn’t forgotten.
Baby Girl’s dress and bonnet now hang in my room and every time I walk past them I pray for our baby who is coming. Sometimes I go back to my bedroom just to stand and stare at this dress and imagine what my baby will look like in it.
Another amazing friend of mine, Sara, who I’ve never met in person, sent me a package last year full of baby girl things. A tiny baby two piece swim suit, a baby sister onesie, tiny girlie socks, etc. It arrived at a time when I was extremely sad and doubtful of God’s love for me. I had no more energy to hope; my heart was sick from my hope being deferred again and again. But she decided to be hopeful for me and sent me a package of baby girl clothes trusting that God would one day fill them out with our chubby baby girl.
I am so thankful for this online community of women who have used their own loss to encourage me while I grieve my babies. If you have lost a baby, I want to encourage you to find some type of connection with another mom who has lost a baby. There are support groups, Facebook groups, Babycenter discussion boards, blogs, etc. When Sara lost her son, Luke, she emailed me after finding my blog. She shared her story with me (a complete stranger, which took a lot of courage, I’m sure) and we have been emailing ever since. I know I have said this before, but I don’t know how I could have made it through this past year without Sara and many of you other women. Almost every day I am faced with some type of frustrating challenge or heart wrenching reminder that only another baby loss mom could understand. Thank you to all of you out there who understand and are open with your own struggles. Thank you for being Jesus in the flesh for me here on earth. I appreciate you all so much.
And if you have recently lost a baby, I want you to know that you are not alone in your pain. I would love for you to email me and share your story if you feel like it, or tell me how I can pray for you. My email address is: email@example.com