As I mentioned in the last post, we were able to go back to Alabama for about a week and a half between appointments. Our time home was busy and productive and so needed. Usually at the end of the second trimester and beginning of the third my nesting instinct really starts to kick in. It is hard to be nesting but not be at home in my nest to get it ready for my baby bird. When I get to go home for visits my nesting instinct goes crazy and I basically use every free moment I have to clean and organize the house. This past visit I started having regular contractions every day, some even getting as close as three minutes apart. I went to my local OBGYN in Tuscaloosa to make sure I wasn’t going into preterm labor and thankfully I wasn’t dilated at all. He also did a fetal fibronectin test which tells you if labor will start within the following two weeks. Mine came back negative, so that was reassuring. The contractions have continued, even though I have been making an effort to stay off my feet more and stay hydrated. We got back into Houston on Mother’s Day and the next day I had my 28 week check up. The doctor checked me again to make sure I wasn’t in preterm labor and I still wasn’t dilated or anything. He thinks my uterus is just irritated from the last IUT. Sticking lots of needles into a uterus is an effective way to cause irritation. I’m a bit worried about the next IUT. Since I’m still so irritated from the last one will this next procedure send me into full blown labor? I guess we will have to wait and see.
This week I also had my one hour glucose test to check for gestational diabetes. I failed the test, so I have to take the dreaded three hour test on Friday. I also failed the one hour test when I was pregnant with Asher but passed the three hour test easily. Hopefully the same will happen this time. I really don’t want to add even more risk to my extremely high risk pregnancy. I also don’t want more intervention and things to keep up with (like my blood sugar.) I will be so thankful when this pregnancy is over and I have my Nora girl in my arms. I have been feeling weary lately. I am always a bit stunned when returning to the Ronald McDonald House because I am reminded of all the suffering. There are up to 50 families living here who all have a child with a life threatening illness or disorder. Suffering is all around. There is something extra heart wrenching about a child suffering. There are kids here with cancer (some terminal), kids waiting for organ transplants, babies with severe heart defects, babies with spina bifida, children with rare, unknown disorders…the list goes on and on. The people here are some of the kindest I’ve ever met too, which makes it even harder for me to accept their suffering. It makes me feel weary deep in my bones sometimes. I am also tired of so much intervention and stress with this pregnancy. It’s like a roller coaster that I can’t get off of. After Nora is born she will probably need a lot of intervention as well. It is such a different pregnancy experience than I had with my boys (before I had anti-kell antibodies.) Those pregnancies progressed smoothy week by week and month by month as predicted…baby all safe and snug in the womb like he should be. How I wish Nora could be safe like her brothers were. How I wish she did not have to suffer or be in danger. Thankfully, it is hard to feel sorry for myself for very long while I am here at the Ronald McDonald House. There are so many others who are hurting even more than I am yet somehow they still smile and they strive forward through the pain. I wonder if my two healthy boys make some of the other families here feel sad and make them question God’s fairness. It’s not fair that one boy gets to be healthy and strong and the other boy has to face so much pain and anguish. Everyone has their own hard place, their desert of weariness. Thank goodness there is One who supplies unending strength and living water. Usually when I start feeling weary and the self pity comes to settle in my heart I realize that I haven’t been spending enough time with God and haven’t been reading His word enough. If I turn to Him for strength and comfort He will satisfy my desires, even when I am in a scorched place of suffering.
Isaiah 58:11 And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail.
Isaiah 40:27-29 Why do you say, O Jacob, and speak, O Israel, “My way is hidden from the Lord, and my right is disregarded by my God?” Have you not known? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He does not faint or grow weary; His understanding is unsearchable. He gives power to the faint, and to him who has no might He increases strength.