Still not in. We feel like we are going crazy waiting for the phone call, keeping the phone nearby at all times and jumping every time it rings. As I wait I am drawn back to God for reassurance and peace. Where else can I go?
Waiting is frustrating but it is also a gift. While I wait I get to develop more patience. I am presented with yet another chance to trust God with something that is most precious to me. A couple days after I got a positive pregnancy test back in February I thought I might be having an early miscarriage because the test lines weren’t darkening like I wanted them to. I cried out to God and was reminded that this was not my story to write. This is God’s story. He is writing it, not me. So I mentally handed my baby back to Him and said, “I trust you with this baby’s life. This is your story to write, not mine.” And a great peace settled over me. So now, I give this baby back to Him again, like I’ve done many times in the past weeks and I make a decision to trust Him with my child’s life. This is not my story, and to be honest, I’m glad I’m not the one writing it. I know that His plans will end up being far better than anything I could think up on my own. I am not in control but I trust the One who is. Thank you, Lord, for what you are going to do with this child’s life, whether the baby is kell positive or kell negative. Thank you for the story you are writing and the masterpiece you are creating at this very moment. I will wait for you with anticipation and peace.
Today I was listening to a podcast by Jill Briscoe which included a little poem that she wrote a while back. It has been very encouraging for me to hear today-
Ask Him to do it but don’t tell Him how.
Ask Him to answer but don’t tell Him now.
Ask Him to give you the strength for the task,
then thank Him for giving much more than you ask.
Ask Him to cleanse you whenever you pray.
Be honest with God at the end of the day.
Ask for the power and faith it will take
to say to this mountain, “Go jump in the lake.”